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Monday, February 28, 2005

what now?
what next?






i'm sorry bee lian.






i didnt play up to expectations today.
and of all matches today.
i'm really sorry bee lian.



i'm the calming influence of the team.
but how could i have calmed them down when, i cried too?
i'm sorry.





so now,
it has come to an end.
i feel so lost.



but hey,
fairy tales dont end sadly.



cos we are gonna come back stronger and better next year and the year after that.
we are gonna be better than before.
WE ARE GONNA SHOW YOU. SHOW YOU THAT WE ARE GONNA MAKE IT. WE ARE GONNA LAUGH AT YOU WHEN WE SEE YOU SO EMBARRASSED. YOU ARE SO GONNA REGRET THE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT US.






hey mates,
i really love you guys.
you guys are literally my life. haha.
really hope that we are gonna still stick as a team together no matter what.
cos after the break, the sec 1s would be training with us already.
really hope we could still meet up everyday, like how we always do. always did. and hopefully always will.

i'm really sorry.
i know i'm not the best captain.
i know that sometimes i'm really unreasonable.
i know that i led the team down sometimes.
with all that, i'm sorry.
with that, i will try my best to be the best captain i can to you guys ok?
love you all.



well, so today.
was playing totally off.
all those mispasses.
miscatches. contacts.
shit.




anyway,
things dont always go the way we want it to.
but hey, we can always try again.


oh, and i saw him in dunman today.
whoa.
and ju and jan were laughing so much.
was totally embarrassed.



loads of supporters today.
sec 1s, seniors, some other non netballers.
thanks for coming to support us ya?



after all that,
went to eat at heartland with the usual6 and shi yun and lizard.
bk.
crapped loads.
oh, and lizard wanted to be mean to the cleaner, by putting chilli all over the tray.
HAHA.
and in the end, the chilli got onto her instead.
WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND.


so clare and i went back together thereafter.
talked about, this year.
it's really freaking me out.
we gave a summary of this year.

the sec 4s would leave. that would be a really sad fact.
our team would be broken up.
we are gonna get a new coach.


those are the most horrid things ever.


but then again,
time doesnt stop there. doesnt stop anywhere.
things carry on.
so then,
we should carry on.

and that can be a sad fact.
that is the sad fact.




*lotr is so cool*
charms




Sunday, February 27, 2005

water never tasted so sweet.


i'm dead scared.
of tomorrow.
i wish it would never ever come.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
freak.


i cant wait for the march holidays to come.
hopefully, i would be FREE.
i'm finally gonna start music this week.
thank God.



*lotr is so cool*
charms




Friday, February 25, 2005

whoa.

for once, in the whole year, i feel. RELAXED.
that's for now.


phew.
chinese test postponed till tuesday!!!! cos we will be missing lessons again [on monday].


well,
school was really fun today. HAHA.
2 periods of chem. whoa. i almost slept. was dead tired. but the most ironic thing was that i was paying attention at the last 10 minutes. heh.

then 2 periods of maths. it really past fast. cos was doing all those math sums.

then the clare, dayna and i were free the whole day!!
nice.
the rest of team who knew about our timetable today were lyk damn 'angry' with us la! HAHA. cos our timetable was so good. that's only for fridays.


was really freaking out before the match.
went there 1 hour early as usual.
well, i honestly believe that i played better during the TKGS match. i felt sorta slack today. cos i wasn't really feeling tired after the 3rd quarter.
anyway, we won. wow. but somehow, i cant really sense the happiness.
we WERE supposed to win. cos they pratically gave up.

the next hurdle. MONDAY. dont wanna face it. i wish it would be sunday everyday. gosh. that will be THE match. oh man. i'm freaking myself out already.
it's THE match.

then we can finally prove to them.
just one more.



wow. i really think that sometimes things are REALLY unfair.




**///My life support. YOU


*lotr is so cool*
charms




Thursday, February 24, 2005

whoa.

i feel. HAPPY today! HAHA. getting HIGH.
hymm. i love today's weather. love it so much.

really pray that tomorrow's weather would be like that.


hymm.
school, as usual. HAHA. all the funny times and slacking times. love them all.

yeh.
tomorrow's the match. the match. the match which would decide what would happen next. i'm honestly. honestly, freaking out.

hey mates,
dont worry, we can do this together? after all these time we have been together, we are gonna get somewhere. just have to prove it to them.



things in school was sorta rushy.
i'm dead tired? but whenever i close my eyes.
i keep thinking. thinking about all the things which happened.
it's really disappointing. i mean whhen my mind keeps playing them like some spoilt recorder. darn.
so much for sleeping early.


**//My world. You are.


*lotr is so cool*
charms




Wednesday, February 23, 2005

she's stealing my identity.


HEY.
i feel. mad.
really.honestly. stressed up.



sigh.
so it wasn't good today.
SUCKY.
dumb.
stresed.
broke down again.
sigh.

AND WHY MUST THE WHOLE WORLD BE CALLED CHARMAINES??!!

today,
we played with tkgs. and the center was also CHARMAINE.
and
when we played with st hilda's last week,
there were 1 CHARMAINE, 1 SHERMAINE, 1 GERMAINE.
and i got damn confused.


oh well.
things are really getting off hand.


*//being a history maker.


*lotr is so cool*
charms




Saturday, February 19, 2005

my special day! =)

----thanks for all thoses messages dearies! love you guys!


actually, i wont be surprised if i drop sick one day.
i'm STRESSED up.


many things happening.
somehow, everything seems to be happening at the same time.
freaking hell.


i'm waiting.
i'll wait.
when you come.
i'll be well prepared.
we'll be prepared.
you know, you got the voice.
i got the wits. we got the wits.
you are, one. we are, 12.
we are innocent.
so we dont care.
i dunno about you.
cos, i dont care about you.
we dont care about you.


everyones paranoid.
that's normal.
you are overparanoid.
oh well.



hymm.
crapping around in school!
i mean,
things in school have its ups and downs ya?

TODAY
well, so i'm lyk 14 today. wow. i feel OLD. heh.
just went for dental. dad sent.
mum's at work today.
parents dont want me to go back for training.
sigh.
i was really playing GOLF today.
i dunno.
heh.
oh well.

my dad's honestly LAME la. heh.
i told him i wanted to change my singtel plan.
so he said

'ok, since you are going online, go check your SIMPLE PLAN.'

you know why he said SIMPLE PLAN?!
because we were listening to SIMPLE PLAN in the car.
whoa.
how lame can that be man?!
haha. thanks for always cheering me up dad.




YESTERDAY
school as usual.
after school, settled some stuff.
sigh.
slacked around.
went to eat thereafter. with jan, ju, qinyi and doralynn. usual6 -1
saw yanyi at heartland too.
and i screamed.
heh.
ultra long story. heh.
met regina and beiyi too.

home.


*lotr is so cool*
charms





my special day! =)

----thanks for all thoses messages dearies! love you guys!


actually, i wont be surprised if i drop sick one day.
i'm STRESSED up.


many things happening.
somehow, everything seems to be happening at the same time.
freaking hell.


i'm waiting.
i'll wait.
when you come.
i'll be well prepared.
we'll be prepared.
you know, you got the voice.
i got the wits. we got the wits.
you are, one. we are, 12.
we are innocent.
so we dont care.
i dunno about you.
cos, i dont care about you.
we dont care about you.


everyones paranoid.
that's normal.
you are overparanoid.
oh well.



hymm.
crapping around in school!
i mean,
things in school have its ups and downs ya?

TODAY
well, so i'm lyk 14 today. wow. i feel OLD. heh.
just went for dental. dad sent.
mum's at work today.
parents dont want me to go back for training.
sigh.
i was really playing GOLF today.
i dunno.
heh.
oh well.

my dad's honestly LAME la. heh.
i told him i wanted to change my singtel plan.
so he said

'ok, since you are going online, go check your SIMPLE PLAN.'

you know why he said SIMPLE PLAN?!
because we were listening to SIMPLE PLAN in the car.
whoa.
how lame can that be man?!
haha. thanks for always cheering me up dad.




YESTERDAY
school as usual.
after school, settled some stuff.
sigh.
slacked around.
went to eat thereafter. with jan, ju, qinyi and doralynn. usual6 -1
saw yanyi at heartland too.
and i screamed.
heh.
ultra long story. heh.
met regina and beiyi too.

home.


*lotr is so cool*
charms





my special day! =)

----thanks for all thoses messages dearies! love you guys!


actually, i wont be surprised if i drop sick one day.
i'm STRESSED up.


many things happening.
somehow, everything seems to be happening at the same time.
freaking hell.


i'm waiting.
i'll wait.
when you come.
i'll be well prepared.
we'll be prepared.
you know, you got the voice.
i got the wits. we got the wits.
you are, one. we are, 12.
we are innocent.
so we dont care.
i dunno about you.
cos, i dont care about you.
we dont care about you.


everyones paranoid.
that's normal.
you are overparanoid.
oh well.



hymm.
crapping around in school!
i mean,
things in school have its ups and downs ya?

TODAY
well, so i'm lyk 14 today. wow. i feel OLD. heh.
just went for dental. dad sent.
mum's at work today.
parents dont want me to go back for training.
sigh.
i was really playing GOLF today.
i dunno.
heh.
oh well.

my dad's honestly LAME la. heh.
i told him i wanted to change my singtel plan.
so he said

'ok, since you are going online, go check your SIMPLE PLAN.'

you know why he said SIMPLE PLAN?!
because we were listening to SIMPLE PLAN in the car.
whoa.
how lame can that be man?!
haha. thanks for always cheering me up dad.




YESTERDAY
school as usual.
after school, settled some stuff.
sigh.
slacked around.
went to eat thereafter. with jan, ju, qinyi and doralynn. usual6 -1
saw yanyi at heartland too.
and i screamed.
heh.
ultra long story. heh.
met regina and beiyi too.

home.


*lotr is so cool*
charms





my special day! =)

----thanks for all thoses messages dearies! love you guys!


actually, i wont be surprised if i drop sick one day.
i'm STRESSED up.


many things happening.
somehow, everything seems to be happening at the same time.
freaking hell.


i'm waiting.
i'll wait.
when you come.
i'll be well prepared.
we'll be prepared.
you know, you got the voice.
i got the wits. we got the wits.
you are, one. we are, 12.
we are innocent.
so we dont care.
i dunno about you.
cos, i dont care about you.
we dont care about you.


everyones paranoid.
that's normal.
you are overparanoid.
oh well.



hymm.
crapping around in school!
i mean,
things in school have its ups and downs ya?

TODAY
well, so i'm lyk 14 today. wow. i feel OLD. heh.
just went for dental. dad sent.
mum's at work today.
parents dont want me to go back for training.
sigh.
i was really playing GOLF today.
i dunno.
heh.
oh well.

my dad's honestly LAME la. heh.
i told him i wanted to change my singtel plan.
so he said

'ok, since you are going online, go check your SIMPLE PLAN.'

you know why he said SIMPLE PLAN?!
because we were listening to SIMPLE PLAN in the car.
whoa.
how lame can that be man?!
haha. thanks for always cheering me up dad.




YESTERDAY
school as usual.
after school, settled some stuff.
sigh.
slacked around.
went to eat thereafter. with jan, ju, qinyi and doralynn. usual6 -1
saw yanyi at heartland too.
and i screamed.
heh.
ultra long story. heh.
met regina and beiyi too.

home.


*lotr is so cool*
charms




Monday, February 14, 2005

happy valentines' day everyone! =))


well, so today is valentines' day!
haha.
the school lights seemed dimmer. hymm. haha.
got loads of chocolates. and sweets.
and flowers too. =)
and this really nice wand!
i really really REALLY love turning doralynn into a toad! =)) HAHA.
thanks mates! love you guys loads!



today was sorta the same as any other day.
yeh.
haha. just that you could see everyone in school holding bags of stuff. haha.
oh.
and ipw is horrid. we were rushing our heads off for the freaking project. and she comes in and tells us that we can hand it up next term. WOW. thanks for telling us soo late man.


hymm.
the rest of the day was sorta slacked.
clare thinks i'm lyk going nuts cos i'm getting to like maths. HEH. just this topic clare!

chinese
hu lao shi was asking us why we celebrate valentines' day.
so she said
'why do you guys celebrate vday? then it's the same as telling the nurses in the hospital to celebrate teachers' day'
eh. HAHA. the link is there. heh.


after school.
stayed back with jan, clare, doralynn, qinyi. qinyi did shooting. we were slacking. more pressies! haha. seniors had training and juniors too. so we left when they started training.


went to heartland.
KFC.
saw the 'i not stupid' guy. wth. his eyes are lyk bigger than mine??!! whoa. really goallie eyes man.
hymm. and guess what??!!
saw HER again!!! clare and i were lyk laughing our heads off??!!! how conincidental eh??!! and when clare went to Cold storage, i was lyk telling her that SHE might be there.
and clare was lyk, 'ya, right. why would she be in Cold Storage?!'

and so,
my prediction was lyk so right la?! HAHA.
saw HER there. heh.


and while we were crapping at the table.
and clare and i were lyk sorta evesdropping on the other table.
cos they were talking damn loud.

and the best part was when both of us jumped when we heard THIS word!!
i was picking on my fries. the when i heard it, i lyk jumped. literally jumped upand looked straight!
and clare heard IT too!! and she almost spitted out her coke on our stuff!
and guess what the word was??!!
MARCUS!!
HAHA.

okok,
so anyway,
jan and qinyi went to cut their hair.
clare, doraylnn and i went home.
and guess what?!
we were saying that it would be DAMN concidental if we see HER again. at the bus stop.
WTH.
and we lyk damn right.
clare and i were lyk... O.O
HAHAHAHHAA
anyway, we didnt take the same bus. heh.

clare told me to keep quiet cos she said that whatever i said seemed to turn to reality.
haha. true.
but when i heard that,
i was remembering what i said at KFC with doralynn. i really hope that would never happen.



sigh. so doralynn told me about the same thing.
i really hope it wont happen?
sigh.


-----why not put our fantasies into reality so that our reality would turn into our fantasy?____


__i feel confused.___
//am i suppose to feel this way?//


*lotr is so cool*
charms




Sunday, February 13, 2005

whoa.

SATURDAY [yesterday]

headed down to Mrs tng's home with jan,qinyi, clare and yanyi. jan's dad's so sweet. fetched us there.
didnt really stay long at mrs tng's.
played uno staco.
HAHA. damn not LAME la. and we were lyk helping each other cos we sorta wanted to sabo mrs tng. oh well. heh.
then we went in to the room to play taboo. HAHA.
it's was damn funny.

JOKE OF THE DAY
me: what's the opposite of 'sink'?
[and they thought i said 'sing' instead or 'sink']
jan, clare and qinyi: SONG!!!

I DONT SEE THE LINK MAN.
HAHA.
anyway, the opposite of SING is NOT SONG lor!
but it was damn funny.

then the 5 of us left for jan's home.
ran for the bus. and the driver was highly fascinated at the speed we were running. HEH.
hiaz. i haven't gone over for lyk dunno how many years man.
i love that sorta recreation room of hers.
damn spacious.
so we slacked there.
ate there. turned the lights off. played simple plan.
it was lyk completely darkness. coOl.
blasted the whole room. coOl. haha. missed going to her house.
used to go over when my dad fished. oh well.
those were the times.
played a wee bit of mahjong. and guess what? i know nuts about it.
so i just let them see my tiles. =X

------somehow, i felt that there was something fishy then. and i wasnt the only one feeling that way. ______

so that day, it was lyk metaphor-1+2
and
the usual6-2+1

i guess anyone reading this and is not in metaphor or the usual6, they wont understand.



TODAY
went to church.
sigh. i let her down again. why.
collected more money.

lunch.
with nic's family.

and while they were talking,
my dad told uncle lawrence that nowadays whenever our family wanted to go anywhere together or anything of that sort, they have to book an appointment with me. cos i'm never free nowadays. and that's when i felt evil again.

i wanna be with my family. i haven't been talking to them too. you know, this is how my parents describe my daily routine:
'she goes out of the house early in the morning cos she takes a school bus nowadays'
'then she would be back around 7 or 8 nowadays'
'and by then she would be in her room studying'
wow. they can analyse my moves well man.

i wanna be with my best friend. i wanna be with jillian. i haven't been going out with her. i haven't even been talking to her.

i wanna be with metaphor. i love them too. i mean, we wanna jam. we wanna make things work. talk is freaking cheap. but we wanna make it work.

i wanna be with the usual6. just wanna crap the hell out of each other.


but here's the catch. i cant be at 4 places at the same time.


jillian, i'm really sorry. i think you would have stopped the number of times i have let you down. i believe you would have known my answers even before i opened my mouth. i know that everytime i decline, you would say that you understand. and you would say that it's ok with you. but inside you, is it true? is it true that it's ok with you? i'm really sorry. i am a totally horrid best friend. really. so sorry. i know you wouldn't be reading this. cos you have not been going online. but maybe with intuition you would. yeh. haha.



how am i ever gonna tell them that competitions wont end till 2 months from now?


*//i honestly dont know how i could live day by day, without You. **//



*lotr is so cool*
charms




Friday, February 11, 2005

sigh.

enough of those things.

honestly, no use getting angry over those lamebrain things.

really wastes your energy.

phew.

so many things to do!

ipw project.

geog project.

ALL HAVE TO BE HANDED IN BY MONDAY.

WOW.

hymm.

well, i guess overall, things are getting better.

i'm really abandoning my keyboard.

and guitar.

having lessons tmr.

and going to mrs tng's home. coOl. heh.

have to study really hard.

not gonna disappoint my parents.

and really, i feel very very bad for my music teacher.

he puts loads of trust in me.

not gonna let him down either.

i have already missed 1 month of music.

cos of competition.

sigh.

have i not let him down enough?

heard that if you get 12 and below for bio, ms sem is gonna call our parents up.

and i think that treatment is only for netballers.

whoa.

if my parents get that call,

i would

1. either have to really really explain to them that it's nothing to do with netball

or

2. have to just listen to them. lecture time.

hymm.

dead tired.

just finished the ipw product.

and found info on NEW YORK.

probably gonna rest soon.

after training,

went to heartland with jan, qinyi and ju.

bought valentines' stuff.

=)

**///when it seemed like the 4 walls in this room started caving down on me, You just held out your hand and pulled me up. You pulled me up. how much more can i ever thank you? nothing can ever make up for the things You did, in me. **//

*lotr is so cool*





Wednesday, February 09, 2005

whoa.

so many things have been happening. whoa.

first off, just wanna wish everyone a happy HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! yeh. eat loads.. ONLY if you know how to lose weight thereafter. heh.



hymm.
so this year, lyk dai kor [my eldest cousin] is gonna get married. to a malay lady. haida. she's pretty sweet! haha. wedding in march! and kuma doreen and yu kor [2nd eldest cousin] is gonna come back!! yay! i sorta miss them! hymm. haven't seen them for quite some time. yu kor was suppose to come back after he fiinished his studies. but he decided to work in australia. oh well. better lifestyle? anyway, their wedding photos were fantastic! superb.

this year, there were lesser people around. all of them seem to be migrating. oh, and jiejie laura came back! with her husband, Mark. [he's american] yeh. this is the 2nd time i've seen him only. heh. she has 2 dogs now. oh and she slimmed down! haha. and she came barring gifts! haha. small and sweet tokens. lip glosses and shoe keychains. aww, so sweet!

so we had the usual.
reunion dinner. yay! i love steamboat! it's sorta fun to see the whole family together. my dad' s side. i'm closer to them. tomorrow we are going over to our mum's side. great food too! i think i will lyk put on 3kg or sth lyk that. ate loads and heaps of chocolate, bak kua, kong ba, pineapple tarts and so on! oh my. x)

oh, and guess what?
the world's really really small.
dennis told us that this dude beat him up before when he was very young.
and guess what?
it was my cousin who beat him up..... heh. oops. x))
haha. but that was more than 10 years ago? haha. coOl eh? they laughed over it anyway.


hymm.
these few days. started planning for THE big occasion. haha. THE occasion of the year. how THEY will like it. cos WE are gonna put in loads of effort of THE occasion. have been researching.

did a bit of the primate research.
done with our product. the ipw stuff.
NOT DONE WITH GEOG STUFF. and we have to hand it in on monday. wow. oh well. just try our best. i guess we can leave the rest to God. haha. isn't that great to have a God that mighty? =)


oh, and poor jan.
her group's idea got stolen. for ipw. so sad. and that girl who sort of stole it sort of flooded her tagboard defending herself. oh well. let her say whatever she wants ya?


*//when the oceans rise, and thunders roar. i'll soar with You. above the storm//


*lotr is so cool*
charms




Monday, February 07, 2005

phew.



how long have i not blogged?


i'm sorta stressed. i mean, lots of stuff to do.

haven't been lyk going for music lessons. yeh. and my exams are in july.

well.
went to malaysia on last saturday cos it was my mums birthday.
and many things happened in the car.
i dunno.
i broke down.
but i realized that it shows that they really care for me. yeh. so thank you. love you guys.


today.
had 30 minutes run today.
yeh. TIRED. sorta slacked.
HAHA.
i'm trying to make myself happy.






**////what compares to your redeeming love?

*lotr is so cool*
charms




Thursday, February 03, 2005

bags of crap.



today in school.
hymm. stressed out. totally stressed out. kept thinking of the freaking match against damai. the whole day. clare and i were practically not paying attention.



i felt.
i felt. horrible. sick. plain sick. shit. we tried so hard.
all of us cried after the match.
all of us felt that feeling. i guess.
that horrid feeling.
i'm really sorry.

but,
we did do our best right?
bee lian is sorta super proud of us today ya?
yeh.
but the fact that it was so near but yet so far away.
that STUPID FEELING.

but we got over it.
laughed our heads off after in the bus.
qinyi probably ate too much sugar. she laughed excessively and seemed to be hyperactive. hymm. haha
but i honestly believe, this would be stuck, etched in our brains.

hey, we are a great team.
what's a team without team work and team spirit? nothing. plain nothing.
so we have each other ya?
have the same goals. so let's just work towards them ok?
love you guys so freaking much. freaking much.

caro, dont be sad ok?
we love u lots.
take care.
dont care about what they say.
they are just. mad. plain nutcases.


*//i need You in my life. never let You go.

*lotr is so cool*
charms




Tuesday, February 01, 2005

so that's that.


life's changing. everything moving.
hymm. keeping a low profile here?
what the.
hymm.

morning was sorta boring. spoiler.
lessons sorta passed real fast.
then training.
probably died under the sun without me knowing.
dead tired.

haha.
and clare and i are lyk damn dark now? haha. all of us are.
both of us went over to the mixed rice stall and the lady was lyk
' whoa. both of u are so dark!'
'you look like malays!'
*note: all of it are suppose to be in chinese.


yeh.
ate at bk with the usual 6 minus doralynn after training.
jan's dad fetched me home!
thanks!

oh,
my dad's getting real crappy.
here's the sms that we sent

'hey dad, i'm at heartland now. any chance of you dropping by? haha' [me]
'no, settle your own dinner :p' [dad]

i was lyk..
what's with the face thingy la?!
haha.



*//in this place. dreams are made.
*//in this place. where You are.



*lotr is so cool*
charms